Be Bold, Be Brave, Be Unafraid - Abby's Birth Story

Much has changed since I wrote that last post about the Heartbeats Race. Little did I know at the time, but I was actually a few days pregnant during that race - here is the continuation of the story.

My mom gave me a worry stone a few years ago and it has helped me through many a hard time.

I held this stone in my hand as Jordan and I went to an ultrasound in November 2012 to see if that little + on the pregnancy test was giving us false hope or not. We were so happy when they said all looked well. I held this stone at each of our following appointments to monitor how things were doing. It was fun yet nerve wracking to get so many ultrasounds. We were told everything looked great! I wish I could tell you what we did differently this time (after three miscarriages) to have a successful pregnancy - but the truth is, we did nothing different aside from trying to trust the Lord more.

I loved everything about being pregnant! I loved wearing maternity clothes, the attention and comments from people, the little kicks and hiccups coming from my tummy, and just the sheer joy in knowing I was carrying a little human being inside of me that I could call my own.
I was so lucky to have an easy pregnancy - no morning sickness or anything. I was able to continue to exercise throughout my pregnancy and even ran a 5km race at 25 weeks and climbed the Calgary Tower at 30 weeks.

As my due date come closer and closer, I naturally grew more and more excited. Every day Jordan would ask, "Is the baby coming today?" Although my due date was June 28, I knew I would have a July baby. After several days of waiting (and even two days of "false labour"), I started to get asked, "Oh you're still pregnant?" or "When are you getting induced?" but I tried not to panic as I knew it was perfectly fine and normal for babies to be born two weeks before or two weeks after their "due date". But I will admit, I tried all sorts of tricks to try to get the baby to come (pineapple, walks, acupuncture, red raspberry leaf tea, etc. etc.) In the end, I think what really got things going were having my membranes stripped and taking some labour inducing homeopathics.

At 3am on Monday, July 8, my water broke! I was so excited that today would be the day. I was 10 days past my due date. I texted my mom to let her know and tried to crawl back into bed and get some more sleep as I knew labouring with 3 hours of sleep would be tough. Sleep was an impossible task however because I would get a contraction every 5 minutes or so and laying on my side didn't feel so great so I'd get up on my hands and knees and Jordan would press on my low back. He was such a great support to me and was there for me every step of the way. We continued like this for a few hours. The contractions were fairly mild and only lasted about 30 seconds (turns out that contractions throughout my whole labour were never very long. They were never over 60 seconds). At about 6:30, Jordan called the midwives and let them know what was going on. We were advised to continue doing what we were doing and call them back when things got further along. My mom and sister Megan came by at about 7am. I was so happy to have my mom there with me. There is a special bond between a mother and daughter. I also loved having her there because she is a labour and delivery nurse and has also received midwifery training, so I felt very comfortable having her there to monitor how things were progressing. I asked my sister Megan to attend my birth to take photos and video. Megan is an amazing photographer and I am so glad I asked her to be there to document this special day. Check out her website here: http://www.stonemanphotography.ca/2013/07/29/abby-calgary-birth-photography/ (and view more pictures from Abby's birth)

Over the next few hours, I laboured at home - moving around lots and working through each contraction. Some things I tried were kneeling on a yoga mat and slumping over a bunch of pillows on the couch, taking a warm bath, going on a walk (got some great looks from neighbors as I stopped every few minutes to hug Jordan as I had a contraction), and sitting on a stool and leaning back on my mom who was seated on the couch. It was so helpful to have Jordan hold my hand or massage my low back or give me sips of water and bites of crackers. He is my best friend and was an active part of this whole experience. He also made me a relaxing music playlist to listen to and turned on our lavender essential oil diffuser. I shared a nice moment with my mom at one point when I asked her to tell me about the day I was born as we talked in between the contractions. I wore my blessingway necklace with beads from my friends reminding me that I have support and that I am a strong woman. I also had my worry stone nearby.

At around 11:30, things seemed to slow down a bit. I had long breaks in between contractions and even got a bit of sleep. Although this break was nice, it was not really what I wanted... I wanted things to move along so I could meet my baby. So my mom suggested we go for another walk or walk the stairs in our apartment, maybe doing some lunges on the stairs to open up my pelvis more and move baby down. I agreed and started to get ready to go, but then contractions starting hitting me with more and more force, which resulted in me getting louder and louder. I started to feel really uncomfortable with the idea of wandering around our apartment building making crazy moaning sounds so we decided to call the midwives again. Jordan and my mom talked to our midwife Janna and we agreed to meet at the birth centre in 30 minutes. Driving over to the birth centre was not so fun. I didn't like being in a seated position during contractions and had three on the way.

I have several reasons for choosing to have a baby at the Arbour Birth Centre vs. a hospital, but my main reasons include trusting that giving birth is a normal, natural process and not a medical one needing intervention, wanting to have a water birth (it helps with pain relief and prevention of tearing), lower chance of what I call the "intervention spiral" of pitocin, epidurals, c-sections, etc., and desiring a natural, peaceful, empowering birth. If you want to learn more about midwifery, I suggest reading "Your Best Birth" or watching "The Business of Being Born" as starting points. Also anything by Ina May Gaskin is great as well.

As soon as we got to the birth centre (around noon) I felt totally geared up to go. I changed into a nightie (comment from Janna, "aww I love that you're wearing pink polkadots!") and thought I had hours and hours ahead of me. So we walked around the birth centre (it's kind of like a house) and leaned on Jordan when I had a contraction. I then got set up on my knees on the bed with a yoga ball in front of me to lean on. Jordan massaged my back and my mom held my hands. I felt more at ease here to be louder (much to the dismay of everyone's ears, I'm sure). After a few contractions like that, I felt the urge to push but just at the peak of each contraction.

The tub was filled and Janna said I could get in (yay!). The pushing stage was definitely the hardest. Up to this point, I felt very "bold, brave, and unafraid", but once I started feeling that crazy pressure and intense power, I started to doubt myself and say things like, "I can't do it" and "it hurts" and "this is really hard". But everyone was so encouraging to me and helped me feel more confident. When I said, "I can't do it", my mom said, "Melissa, you ARE doing it", when I said, "it hurts", the midwives said "I know. It's because she's stretching all those tissues so she can come be with you!" and when I said, "this is really hard", my mom said, "You can do hard things! You've done so many hard things in your life." The first bit of the pushing phase, I feel like I "wasted" some contractions by not really pushing WITH them...instead I just put my energy into making loud noises. But after a while, I realized that I needed to bear down and work with the contractions, and extend that energy down and out instead of up out of my lungs. I really liked being in the water because I could move around easier and try different positions.

At one point I felt discouraged and Janna said, "You're doing great! Reach down and feel your baby's head." I smiled and said, "Let's get her out!" and after a few more intense pushes, out she came! Her head and shoulders came out practically at the same time. I held her to my chest and said, "Oh my gosh!" and "Hi baby" and "I love you so much! I can't believe we did it!". Jordan leaned over and kissed us and I just fell so in love with my little family.

I feel like I had the most wonderful birth ever. Everything went perfectly. Labour was 11.5 hours total and we only stayed at the birth centre for about three hours after she was born. She nursed shortly after she was born and I got a couple stitches. We dressed her in a little sleeper that belonged to me as a baby and Jordan's parents came to see her before we left as well. I am so proud of myself for not taking any medication during labour and delivery. Not because I wanted to prove anything, but because I know it's best for my body and for my baby. Yes, it was hard, but it was the most empowering event in my life. It's incredible to know what my body and mind are capable of. I feel like I can conquer anything!

Heading home was incredible. It felt totally unreal to be bringing home our baby - what a wonderful feeling to finally have our hopes and dreams come true! We love little Abby so much and we are so grateful she came to be with us. What a miracle.

Abby Joan Pierson was born at 2:21 on July 8 and weighed 7 pounds even.